Defeated

I was venting to my neighbor tonight about my day today and venting about how tiring my day was as a stay at home mom to these two kiddos. She is a single mom who is AMAZING, taking care of 3 kiddos who are 6 and under. She hit the nail on the head when she said "as mothers there are SO many days that we go to bed feeling defeated". 


umm... Amen! That is exactly how I am feeling at this moment. Defeated. 


I have had one of those days where my 3 year old woke up on the WRONG SIDE OF THE BED. One of those days where I failed to find the good in him and one of those days where I was discipling more than I was laughing or playing with him. On top of that I have a 6 month old who is still suffering from what I think is an ear infection and is basically not letting me put her down for a second without screaming her head off. 


My son almost died a few short months ago, I have friends who are struggling to get pregnant, I have friends who have lost babies and whose babies are fighting for their lives and yet here I sit frustrated about about my misbehaving toddler and my fussy infant.  When Sawyer almost died and was in the hospital a little over a year ago he woke up from being unconscious and when he was talking to me I thought to myself, "I will never take him for granted, I will never lose my patience with him or forget what a gift he is..." and yet here I am today losing my patience more than once and wishing this day away because of the stress he has put me through. 


Lord forgive me. Sawyer forgive me. 


There have been a few occasions since having two kiddos where I wonder if I am cut out for this job. And then I remember that God has me right where He wants me. I pray hard every night that I can raise these kiddos to find their own faith in Christ and that I would be an example of Christ every day so that they would want to live like Christ did..... but today I feel defeated. Today I feel like I failed in many ways and know that I did not live out my faith today. But... tonight I am thankful for a new, fresh day tomorrow. My prayer tonight is that I will live like I believe all these things I write about. I pray that my kids will start seeing Christ living THROUGH me and not just see my anger that gets the best of me time and time again. Here's to hoping for a much better day tomorrow! 


 Sorry for the rambling post that I wrote in a hurry. It feels good after a day like today to get it out in writing.. Hoping I'm not the only one who has been here.. Thanks for always listening! 

What's new here...

We have been in the groove with life here so I have been totally horrible at blogging in the last week.. But in case you are curious here are a few things that are new around here and a low down on what we have been up to...


- Brooklyn has officially had a double ear infection for a week 1/2 and we are on our 2nd round of antibiotics.. Praying it clears it up b/c she has not been herself the last few days and has been waking up a ton at night. She was on amoxicillin for 8 days and it didn't do a thing.


- My dear, wonderful. splendid mother came up this weekend and we cleaned out our entire garage and organized my life once again. Here's to hoping I can keep it that way!


- Andrew has been on a strict diet for 4 weeks now and is still going strong. He has to be in Ft. Smith every day by 7:00 (which is a 1 hour commute) so he is waking up at 4:00 every morning during the week to work out with a guy he works with.. I am seriously impressed. He is 14 pounds down and I am one proud wife. We have been working out together, eating super healthy and I have to say it feels pretty good to have my 3 year old beg for "almonds" instead of "fruit snacks", it's becoming our new normal around here. Not to mention I was really needing something to motivate me for swimsuit season.


- Sawyer has to have ear surgery next week and I am DREADING it! His tubes were supposed to naturally come out and we found out two weeks ago that they were still in there and they have to be surgically removed. He also has a hole in one of his ears that needs to be patched up. I know it's no big deal but I really am dreading him being put under anesthesia again.


- We are officially working on transforming our one and only guest room into a playroom (that will still have a daybed for guests). I am so beyond excited and have been on pintrest a ton lately trying to get inspired. I'm thinking chevron, bright fun colors with vintage accents.


- Andrew and I are trying to figure out our summer plans and we are both horrible at planning! Will someone please plan a vacation for us???


-I signed Sawyer up for preschool this week at Shiloh Christian and could not be more excited. He'll start in August going two full days a week. We all had an interview and besides being stubborn and telling the principle all the colored blocks were "pink" he got every other answer correct and also wrote things that I had no idea he knew how to write. 


- other than that we have been outside a TON, playing with neighbors every day, running the trails with a 70 pound double jogging stroller, having playdates with friends, and basically surviving with these two kiddos. 

Here is a recap in pics! 

Hope you all have had a wonderful week and weekend!! Sorry for my lack of existence these last few days! Happy Sunday! 

Yummy Monday: Stuffed Tomatoes

Here is another great recipe that is super healthy and incredibly tasty. It's on our diet menu these days.. Give it a try, even if you're not a veggie lover this combo is really good. 

Stuffed Tomatoes

- 4-5 Medium to large tomatoes

- head of cauliflower

- 2 zucchinis 

- 1 cup carrots 

- 1 cup Sugar snapped peas

- Salt, pepper and garlic salt to taste

- 1/4 cup parmesan cheese

Cut tomatoes in half and spoon out center and drain pulp. Leaving about 1/4 inch thick shell. Reserve the tomato pulp. Set shells and pulp aside. 

Chop up veggies pretty small. Add them to a skillet and add the pulp of the tomatoes to the veggies and saute until tender. Season to taste. 

Sprinkle the tomato shells with salt and pepper and spoon the veggie mixture into the tomatoes. Sprinkle with a little pepper and sprinkle parmesan cheese on top of each tomato. 

Bake at 350 degrees for about 20 minutes or until lightly browned and heated through. 

ENJOY!! 

Spring Fun

The weather has been amazing here and we have been soaking up the sun and soaking up our laid back days around here. Here is our life lately via iphone pics :)

 Sawyer and Brooklyn have been spending some quality time together these days. They melt my heart when they play together. 

 We've been spending countless hours doing this... Mastering the bicycle. He is obsessed. 

 Trips to the Bentonville square

 Grocery trips, Sams trips, target trips

 Hanging out being lazy (This was not prompted by me at all.. Sawyer reached down to hold her hand while we watched a movie)

 Playing outside countless hours a day.. I have officially made Sawyer's trampoline into Brooklyn's playpen. 

 Snuggles

 Mastering this new concept of eating food... :)

 Playdates at Pressroom in Bentonville

We went to Crystal Bridges trails with lots of friends yesterday. It was such a fun day. 

I wish spring would last forever. It sure does make my heart happy. Happy Thursday!

6 months

Well, it's official, Brooklyn is 1/2 a year old and not only that but she is entering in to my very favorite baby phase. Here is what Brooklyn has been up to this month... 

- She is finally sleeping through the night!! WOOHOO!! We had to take a break from working on it b/c of her rashes and her last sickness really set us back in the sleeping department but (knock on wood) I think she's finally got the hang of it. I usually put her down around 7:00-7:30 and she will either sleep straight through to 7:30-8:00 or sometimes she'll wake up around 5:30-6:00, take a bottle and then go back down till 8:00. 

- She is also finally on some sort of schedule. I have been home for two weeks straight so we have been working on it. She wakes up around 8:00 is awake for about an hour 1/2 and then goes down for a nap, sleeps for about an hour and then after she wakes up we usually leave the house and go do something for the afternoon. She usually takes a 45 minute nap in the carseat while we are out and then wakes up takes a bottle, plays for a little bit and then goes back down for her long nap around 2:00. She usually sleeps 2-3 hours during that nap. All of this fluctuates depending on what we do that day. 

- eats every 3-4 hours and ever since she is sleeping through the night without eating she has been wanting more ounces per feeding. So she is currently taking 6-7 ounces a bottle and takes 5 bottles a day. 

-She is super active. I seriously barely hold her anymore b/c all she wants to do is play. She can scoot across the floor now to all of Sawyer's toys... (UH OH!) She can roll her little self anywhere. She is almost sitting up but still has a couple more weeks before it's mastered. I predict by 7 months she might be crawling... 


- She loves her toys. This is so different from her brother when he was a baby. She gets so excited when I put a toy in her carseat or sit her down in front of all of her toys. It's so nice to have a baby who is easily entertained. 

- She is OBSESSED with her bubba and her dada. She follows Sawyer's every move and waits for him to pay attention to her. When Andrew gets home from work and when she hears his voice it is the most priceless reaction. She loves him so much and reaches her arms up HIGH right when she sees him. 

- Her allergies are somewhat figured out. We got her bloodwork back and she is officially allergic to soy and it showed that she wasn't allergic to dairy. So we are back on dairy but still dealing with her eczema. It's not nearly as severe and we are using creams off and on to keep it under control. We are starting solid foods very gradually. She has had sweet potatoes and the doctor wants us to try each food for an entire week before introducing new ones. Praying she doesn't have any other food allergies!! 

- She still does great in the car and loves her carseat. We went to Little Rock last weekend and she was in the car for almost 5 hours b/c we ran errands before we left and I never heard a peep from her. So thankful. 

- She is starting to have major opinions.... Wants my phone, wants my drink, wants my food (even though she has never tried any of these things). She starting to become quite the spunky girl! 

Baby girl, we love you more and more every day. I love your little sweet personality and your joy for life. You are so fun to watch and I can't wait to watch you grow each day. 

Updated Family Pictures

One of my dear friends, Chelsea is an amazing photographer who has taken our pictures before and we always adore her photography. She is amazing. 

She lives in Little Rock so when I heard she was coming to Fayetteville to take someone else's pictures I quickly jumped on the opportunity to do a quick little photo shoot with our family. We have zero pics of all four of us so I literally just wanted a few to add to our wall and update in frames since Brooklyn is seriously outnumbered in pics around here ;). 

She did an incredible job and I love all of them! These are just a handful of the ones she took in about 45 minutes! I love her and love these pics! Thank you so much Chelsea! 

Yummy Monday: Veggie Quinoa Salad

Well I am finally back to doing some new Yummy Mondays! I was going to try and start taking pictures of everything b/c I have had some complaints about that but I'm lucky to get dinner on the table every night.


We have changed the way we eat around here in the last few months and I have tons of new recipes to share, a lot of recipes that I made up and some news ones that I found. We have been eating tons of veggies and lean meat so I will probably be posting some overly healthy recipes in the upcoming weeks. 


I have 3 quinoa recipes to share in the next few weeks and all of them are DIVINE.. I had never used quinoa before and I have to say I am hooked. 


This first recipe is one that I made up, so I found a picture that actually looks just like how mine turned out. 

Picture from here

Veggie Quinoa Salad 

- 1 cup quinoa cooked 

- 1 cucumber chopped and cubed in bite size pieces

- 3-4 Roma tomatoes chopped and cubed in bite size pieces

- 1/2 bell pepper chopped small

- 1/2 onion chopped small 

- 1/2 cup black beans

- 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

- 3-4 TB Extra virgin olive oil

- 1 ts garlic salt

- fresh spinach leaves

- salt and pepper to taste

Cook the quinoa as directed on package. Let it cool while chopping up your veggies. Chop up veggies and add the black beans to your serving bowl. After the quinoa has cooled off add it to your veggie mixture and stir until its evenly distributed. Add the lemon juice, olive oil and spices and stir until combined. Serve on top of a bed of spinach leaves or eat with pita chips... Yummy!!!

Hope you enjoy this one!! This one is a great lunch recipe. Happy Yummy Monday! 

Change of Plans

Today was one of those days I woke up on a mission...


I was going to finally get my house clean, get the dishes put away, finish the gosh darn laundry and knock things off my to do list. I immediately woke up agitated b/c I felt like my kids kept getting in the way of MY MISSION.


 We had a doctors appointment this afternoon for Brooklyn so I felt so rushed all morning. I got showered got the kids somewhat dressed and felt like I had already run a marathon and hadn't even gotten anything done around the house. As I was finishing my makeup about to head to finish the dishes, I heard both kiddos laughing on my bed. I came in to see Sawyer sitting nose to nose to Brooklyn making funny faces as she was gut laughing at every move he would make. I stopped and smiled and decided to lay down with them and soak in the moment. 


How many moments do I miss like this because I'm too focused on the mundane things around the house or focused on things like facebook or blogging?? 


If I was in the kitchen doing the dishes that are piled to the brim of the sink I could have missed this moment that I will now remember for the rest of my life. So today I decided that instead of tackling the endless messy house like you see here....(which is still this way b/c now I'm blogging about it.. ha!)

I'm going to take a deep breath, let go of the feeling that my house needs to be perfectly put together and enjoy these precious moments watching these babies grow up together. 

Sawyer's Birthday!

This little guy had one fun birthday party!

 Here is the lowdown on his celebration...

About two months ago we were discussing what we were going to do for his party. Andrew looked at me and told me he would really like to be in charge of his party. He told me that he thought he deserved to plan a party once every 3 years or so because he wanted to do it completely different. So... he took over. He decided on a bouncy house party in our backyard and we ordered pizza and cupcakes. Andrew was so funny he told me he wanted me to make a banner but not cupcake toppers or any other decorations besides balloons. He said "Simple was his theme". I did what I was told and made a banner and that. was. it. Honestly it was kind of nice to take a year off from the usual "all out" parties I do. 

Sawyer had more fun at his party this year than ever before. He played, laughed, ran around and screamed with his friends. He did not want it to end. It was the perfect weather with all of his best friends and he literally was in heaven all day long. So fun to watch. 

We rented a bouncy house and then my mom got him his own bouncy house for his birthday present so they had plenty to do all afternoon. 

 Sidewalk chalk favors

 Told ya.. Simple, simple, simple. 

 Wild boys!

 Sweet girls

 Where's my cupcake?!

 Tallis was so patient for his cupcake. He kept asking us if Sawyer was ready to eat cupcakes because he was eyeing them the entire party. 

 Sweetest little sister enjoying the birthday fun

 These two look like they are trying to make out all the time. uh oh! 

This is one of Sawyer's best friends that lives across the street. Anna Kate. He is in love with her, can't you see why. 

Thanks to everyone who came out to the party! I feel so blessed to have such awesome friends in our lives. 

Shout out to my husband who planned an awesome party! Thanks for doing all the work and spoiling our boy. :)

Happy birthday to our big 3 year old! It was a memorable party for sure...