There are SO many things I want to write but don't even know where to begin. Sarah was fine just a few days ago. I talked to her, texted her even after she had a stroke and she was still there. Now I feel like she is not there. I have sat by her bed the last two days and the Sarah I know is not there (right now), I search for any sign of her and can't find it. It's heart breaking. I miss her. I miss laughing with her and confiding in her. There were two times yesterday that I pulled out my phone and said "I'll call Sarah real quick and ask her" but then I realize her purse is still sitting in her ICU room and she has no idea.
I break down after I leave her room at this new reality but then I think about my God. He is bigger than brain damage, He is bigger than death, He is bigger than heartbreak, He is bigger than broken families and relationships, He is bigger than this dark, dark world.
He gives us strength, He gives us peace when the darkness and pain is too overwhelming to even breath. He is my God that I know is there and that I feel is there. He is my God that is sovereign, He is my God that has a plan, He is my God that loves my nieces and nephews, He is a God that loves us. I am trusting in Him for this plan and am resting in the fact that even though each day will be new and unknown... As my husband says "He has got this, NOT US"
There are small miracles happening in front of our eyes and my biggest prayer that in spite of the hardship our family and Sarah is going through right now that we will continually see His glory being played throughout this. There are so many unknowns at this point and life is literally changing by the minute but I am confident that either way Sarah is going to be okay b/c God is with her and God is with us and those babies. I ask for prayer for Sarah obviously but also prayer for our family. We are taking care of these kids as a family trying to take it day by day and trying to protect them. Pray for the Henry's, pray for the Thomas', pray for us as a family to rise up and do a good job with this situation that God has handed us all. Sarah is the STRONGEST girl I know and even though it takes 6 of us to do her job half as good, I want us to do a good job for her right now.
I am heading to Little Rock to get my sick babies to bring them here for Christmas. I'm asking for extra strength to get through these next few days as we face the Holiday's.
Pray for a miracle! He is capable of it and I know Sarah is capable of coming back if she'd just OPEN HER EYES!
There have been some praises today, Check out her caring bridge. This could be a LONG road so be patient for information on everything and just continually pray for the entire family to adjust to what might be a new normal obviously keep praying for healing for Sarah.
This is the verse I have been resting in these last few days..
"I will remember the deeds of the Lord, yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways O God are Holy. What God is so great as our God. You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples."